Drug of Love!!!!

It could keep you up at all day and night, or it could have you sleeping all day and night. It could make you seem as if your going crazy, or even have you acting crazy. Maybe even crying like a new born baby. what is it you ask? LOVE. To me, it seems more like a DRUG. Some of us are use to it, and some of us stay as far away from it as possible. It's so powerful that it has destroyed families, but some of us just keep coming back for more. Some of us LOVE for the first time never to LOVE the same again. Is LOVE just really a DRUG to be avoided? or is it just me.

Now that our motors are running let's be totally honest so we could all benefit from our real life experiences women and men. Let's not be from Venus and Mars, but from Earth, sharing our relationship experiences, and learning how to work through our problems and differences.

My name is Varun Malhotra, I am no professional by any means, but I do have a passion for life, love, and relationships. This is what truly lead me to writing this post. I am 22 years young, and have been into various relationships till this part of my life. My past relationship have led me to the question is LOVE a DRUG ?Lets have your views now on the same...

Sometime it just happenzz............

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.....I dnt know why this happened to me. Truth, they say, is sometimes stranger than fiction. Well it’s certainly true in my case. It was almost six months i suppose to the day that I last saw the girl in the mall in Delhi and yet somehow, it was as if I had just seen her. After that incident, I returned back to Allahabad and business went on as usual. The next time I went back to Delhi was to attend my sister's marriage in January nd this time co-incidentally all my school frndz were in Delhi tooo . Busy with preparations and stuff, there was hardly any time left for other pursuits.

Now the basic schedule for the wedding was something like this

Day 1- Cocktail party for friends (means no oldies allowed)
Day 2-The Wedding
Day 3- Reception

So finally Day 1 arrived and that was something that my friends (actually not me -family function u noe) had been looking forward to most of all. I mean my sister's wedding was important but then so was this man . This took place at a farmhouse on M.G Road so basically we had a free reign from 9 at night to about 4 in the morning. The party started and slowly everyone got into the groove. The drinks and snacks had started and the dance floor too was beginning to come alive. After having supplied my friends with all the necessary stuff, I went around meeting all my sister's friends whom I’ve known since childhood.

Suddenly, Avi(Avneesh) came running to me and pulled me to one of the corners where some guests were sitting. And that was when the world around me stopped. I had seen Her again and no, this was no imagination. She was really there and this time I knew I wasn't letting go of her so easily. But she was sitting with one of my sister's friends (Neetu Didi). I call her Didi cause many of my sister's friends tied me Rakhi when I was small (C'mon guys, you can't protest to all this when you are in Class 2!! I was innocent back then ;) So I went and found my sister and literally dragged her from the dance floor and demanded to know whether she knew the girl sitting with Neetu Didi. And I absolutely hated that smirk on my sister's face when she asked, “Why?". Some bullshit later and she finally told me that that girl is Neetu Didi's younger sibling Shikha. Now I was in a moral dilemma. I mean I treat Neetu Didi as my sister but does her sister also qualify as one. No way, my brain told me.

Even Neetu Didi's my sister by sheer ill-luck and not by choice so definitely her sister doesn’t qualify in that category. And my assumptions received further impetus from Avneesh and Ashish who told me that" Real Sister ki friend who's your muh bola sister ki sister is definitely not sister". Seriously man, thats like saying Osama and Bush are brothers or like Mallika Sherawat doing puja!!! It’s as far stretched from reality as possible. So after convincing myself that I wasn't committing any cardinal sin, I spent the next ten minutes wondering how to go and talk to her.

Believe me, it doesn't help one bit if you have friends like mine who give you advice ranging from writing a love letter (I mean C'mon guys, get a life!!Who writes love letters now) to going straight to her and snogging her in front of everyone (apparently according to them, she'll think that I am very direct in my approach and hence THE MAN). So once again, I dragged my sister off the dance floor (with my future bro-in-law giving me murderous looks) and asked her to do something!! Finally my sister agreed and we pretended to chat to the guests and slowly made our way to where she was sitting. My heartbeat seemed to grow proportionally as we moved closer and closer to them and at one point of time, I even decided to back off. Well, what are sisters for after all!! Bundels of gyaan later and we finally reached their table where I started chatting with Neetu didi while glancing at her every 5 secs.

And finally, we were formally introduced!!! I extended my hand to her and said in the most macho tone I could muster at that time (not easy when your heart's accelerating like an F1 car)," Hi, I am Varun!”. And she said, "Hi ".That’s it!! Just Hi, nothing more nothing less!! I mean, she must be having some name right? "That’s the end of my love life", I told myself . And then she started laughing and I was like," My name's not that funny also". "No stupid", she said," I am laughing cause you still don't recognize me. I am Shikha, dumbo!. Remember we used to play when my sister used to come to your place back when they were in school. I think you were in lower KG then and me too i suppose. U still don't remember kya??". Now believe me, I have absolutely no recollections of my childhood. Not one bit!! The last thing I remember from my childhood was when i was caned by my principal for throwing a paper plane at my teacher while she was writing something on the blackboard in class 6th ,i mean u cant unnecessarily overload your brain .

So there's no way I know whether I even studied in lower KG or not!! But of course I couldn’t tell her that so I put on the best thinking expression I could come up with and said "Oh ya, of course I do..ya u still look the same". "Shut up liar, I know you don't remember me. I do cause I slapped you when you hid my Barbie doll behind your garden.....ohh ghosh these girls are like hard disk with unlimited storage capacity". Ok that was quite embarrassing but at least it broke the ice. After that we got along like a house on fire.

Chatted stuff ranging from anything to everything (nope, I am not telling you guys anything). And yes, we even discussed my emotions in the mall six months ago. Well 2 hours later and I remembered I had other friends too. So I introduced her to my friends and she introduced Anushka to my friends (yup, she too had come along with her). And then we danced and danced and danced. Holding her close to me, taking in her fragrance and just being with her was like a dream come true. It was i suppose one of the happiest night of my life. Obviously the drinks too helped ... The next three days passed in a blur and I was on my way back to Allahabad before I even knew it. She came to see me off at the station and a lot went unspoken there. They say everything's written in the eyes and that you can read a person like a book by just looking into their eyes. Well, I did just that and so did she. And even though there were a lot of things we didn't understand, most of it we did and we were grateful for that. We were in touch constantly after that and we still are to this day.


Now i know there would be 1 thng going around in everybodyz mind i.e didn’t we go around? Well, as of now we're just friends although very close ones and i suppose we ll always be. I dunno about the future and frankly speaking I don't care. Cause I believe that if you're meant to meet someone, then the entire universe will conspire to bring you together. And after reading all this, you might just tend to agree with me..................

I still remember.....

Meeting her was fate, becoming her friend was a choice but falling in love with her was something i had no control over....

.......the first day when i saw her in class. she was wearing white shirt and blue denim. I just looked at her and was impressed by her beauty....... days passed........... and just a hello hi sort of conversation continued. In april she sent me an SMS. I messaged her and asked " whoz this". she called me and informed. Then we used to send forwarded messages to each other. Sometimes she used to comment on those messages and i felt very nice. One day she added me on orkut. Daily i used to look at her pics for hours. I dont know why i used to look but i felt something for her. Then we started chatting and there was a sort of excitement. We even started talking on phones. The whole day i used to wait for the night so that we can chat. we became friends but my feelings for her grew more and more as the time passed. Then one evening she called and asked "can we meet?" . It was an unexpected surprise for me which changed my whole life(for that period atleast). I said yes!!!!!!!!!! and we met at Jewels(i noe many of us vudnt even noe abt ths place.....thats why it was considered to be so safe for people like us ). It was hot out there though the weather was very Pleaseant ;). Shee came walking..........my heart started beating at full speed. We started moving ...........she was a bit fast. I wanted to tell her to be lil slow but i didnt. I became speechless. I wanted to look into her eyes but i looked here and there...............infact on everthing except her. We came back to parking area and she sat on my CBZ ................and i gave her small round of that area. That was toooooooooo romantic but i was pretending to be normal. We went back to our homes ............And i recalled every moment spent together again and again. We met again at KS. she was with her friend. We ate petty and my hands started shivering though i was warm enough....... she got up and told her friend...........i felt embarrased as if i did something wrong. Her friend went and we both sat.......that place never seemed to me so beautiful as i felt at that time. We both were sitting closely..... I wanted to say You are what I never knew I always wanted........ Next time we went on a car ride . She had to go back home also but she was not in a hurry. She asked me suddenly " What is going on between us". I became confused ......smiled and didnt gave any reply. She asked me again and again but i was silent. I couldnt sleep at night..........! I was in love! After few dayz, we met again in the car. It was dark all around ....... she at once said nothing can happen nd i was like.....we spoke nothing till the time i dropped her where her scooty was parked. All my hopes were shattered. I came back home and was sad. I felt as if i am worthless.............not good for anything. Every time i used to open my orkut account i could see her. So i decided to delete her so that i can forget her. She used to message me n i used to reply. I always felt nice whenever she used to send me a message. I again added her on orkut and said 'sorry' with the add request. she called me on new year and said we will meet when she ll come back. I again started thinking about her........we met.......on 26th September at her residence. I felt so comfortable with her that i cannot express. Then suddenly she said " what if i kiss you?" . I became numb........ I said " i know you will not do". She remained very busy with her school work so i never forced her to meet me frequently. We met on 11 November(her birthday) for five minutes. It was drizzling (donno why). I didnt wanted to say bye but i had to........ We met again on Christmas eve. That was the turning point of our relationship........where our eyes said everything to each other. The most eloquent silence.........where only love existed. We met again and again and came more close..............more...................more n more. Actually, there is no remedy for love but to love more. Whenever I meet her.... I felt the same charm as I felt on the first day. I wanted to be with her forever n ever n ever............
bt i thnk God had somethng else in store for me :).......................

Spitting,Swallowing or gargling !

Love is one of the misused words in our vocabulary. In effect its real meaning has become vague. Saying “I love you” and “I love pizza” seems to be same to many.

Could it be that we treat people as pizzas?

To love, real love or agape is to give oneself to the other for the sake of the other. To lust is to treat people like pizzas. To lust is to use people for your own selfish desire for pleasure. What do you do when pizza satisfies your craving? It becomes a leftover. And sooner or later it gets thrown away.Many people feel that way.Thrown away.

Lust uses people for selfish reasons and desires. After the reasons or desires are met, the person is discarded. And sadly we live in a culture that promotes using each other.
Love, the real thing is on the opposite side of lust. Love wants what is the good of the other. It does not use the other to benefit oneself. Love looks at the eyes of the beloved. Lust is trapped in his own ego, thinking how to use the other person.

Once I heard that as long as two people are in the agreement in using each other, it is alright. But it does not change the fact that you are being used and you are using another person. And people were not made to be used; we were made to be loved.

To live a life of lust is to live a life of emptiness. Only real love can truly satisfy us.

Love and lust cannot exist with each other for the reason that love cannot wait to give while lust cannot wait to take.

So what is your choice? To love or to lust?

"Because you are ugly"

I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.

Ths 1 is for gods best creation i.e -'mankind'

Most of us have a problem with our self image. I think the root of the problem is that we do not really know who we are. Typically our self image is based on the opinion of others. Growing up we have been labeled and branded by a lot of names, mostly based from our weakness and failures.

“Why you no good…”

“You are such a loser.”

“You will never amount to anything.”

“You’re hopeless”

There are a lot more nasty words that have been spoken to us that have shaped how we see ourselves.

Our past mistakes also have broken our self image. Our mistakes have caused us so much pain that it lead to self-hatred. We have become our own worst critic. Sometimes it is you who put yourself down more than anyone else.

We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son.

Our weakness and failure does not define us. Our definition comes from the center of our very being. We are beings created out of the sheer love of God. And that the Father has left in each and one of us a seed of greatness. And no matter how broken we are this capacity for greatness remains within. For this capacity comes from the fact that we were created in the image and likeness of God. And that is irrevocable.

We have to start defining ourselves differently. We have to stop summing ourselves by the opinion of the world and start seeing ourselves as God sees us. We are precious. We are beautiful.We are God’s beloved. God wants us to be great men and women, like his saints were. But we have to stop putting ourselves down. We have to stop looking down on ourselves and start looking up. And when we start to look up, we will see God’ hand reaching out to us. And He will lift us up.

You are awesome. And no one can take that away from you.

Not even yourself.